Emily Parker spoke with author Freddie Pimm about his new book The Selfish Gospel, why there is so little discipleship in church and how God wants to make us more like Jesus.

It struck me that maybe we have this problem with discipleship because our gospel doesn't focus on this idea of being transformed. Jesus said, 'If anyone wants to save their life they must lose it, take up their cross and follow me.' Jesus calls us, when we believe His gospel, to step into His kingdom; to lay down our kingdom and to start building His. When we miss that out of our gospel and forget to call people to lay down their lives as they become Christians, it takes away that motivation to engage in discipleship. We don't understand what it is we're aiming for. We struggle to appreciate that we're not doing it to tick a box in our spiritual calendar, or to please the vicar. We are doing it so that we can bathe in the love of the Holy Spirit and so His power can transform us to be more like Christ. As we are transformed we can be better used by God to build His kingdom and share His love with those who do not yet know it.

Emily: For those that are struggling to know how to step into discipleship, what would your advice be?

Freddie: It differs for everybody, because different people will struggle with different aspects of discipleship. For me the most important aspect of discipleship is not that any one activity like reading the Bible, or meditating is better than praying, or fasting. I think the important thing is to develop an attitude of reflectional transformation; an attitude whereby we are looking at our lives, actions, and thoughts and reflecting on them in light of God's love. Whether that be as we pray, or read the Bible. We consider ourselves in light of God and as we do that we invite the Holy Spirit to transform us; to point out areas where our character has failed, or our behaviours have fallen short of God's standard. It's developing that reflectional transformational attitude that soaks into our whole life, so that every thought and action can be considered in the light of God's love.

We can be prompted and guided by the power of the Holy Spirit, so that we are better able to love God and each other, and equipped to see what God wants us to do in the world and where He's moving. We can be equipped to follow God and join in where He is breaking out and building His kingdom.

The second thing that's really helpful when we're beginning a process of discipleship is getting friends around us. The best thing is to find someone who's a little bit further on in their faith, who has gone through a process of discipleship and is quite established in that pattern. If we can't find anyone in that position, then friends around us who are similarly fired up about that idea of discipleship and becoming more like Jesus would work. Then with those people, meet every week, or every few weeks, to talk about our experiences and how God is transforming us and what He is saying to us. That encouragement is absolutely key as we begin a process of discipleship, because it is hard work. We talk about these things as spiritual disciplines, they're not like spiritual parties. It can require willpower and sustained effort until we are in the habit of doing these disciplines.

The other thing is finding a routine that works for you. I like to get up early because it is the best time of day for me to pray, meditate, and read the Bible. With my work pattern, it is the easiest thing to fit in regularly. Other people just can't get up for their life and they like to pray in the evenings; some people like to pray at lunchtime, or if they get the train, or a tube or bus to work, they pray there. Whatever it is that works, make sure there is that space where you can seek God and reflect and invite the Holy Spirit to transform you.

Emily: You used the word 'transformation' quite a lot. What does 'transformation' mean to you and how have you seen it at work in your life?

Freddie: I grew up going to church. Around the age of 16 or 17 I started to become quite serious about discipleship and trying to be transformed. Then I went to university and I had a bit of a tumble. I stepped away from my faith and fell in with the rugby team.

I've always loved rugby. I played rugby growing up and I was determined to play rugby at university, but I was a little taken aback by the hard-core drinking culture. I didn't realise how difficult it would be to be friends with the rugby team without actually engaging in it. I got swept along quite a lot.

Over the next year or two I spent time slowly crawling my way back to being quite serious about my faith again. It's amazing, as I look back, when I was engaging in the same behaviour as my rugby playing friends, and the place I was in just two years later. I was transformed from being someone who had become quite selfish, and someone who was quite arrogant and determined to be popular and accepted. All of that left me quite insecure. I was transformed away from that and now I'm much more secure and at ease in who I am. I'm much happier not to be the centre of attention and not to crave popularity and find my identity in the opinions of other people. I'm a lot more settled in my relationship with myself.

I became quite angry with God while I was in the first couple of years at university. I was angry that He wasn't acting. I said to myself, "If God cared how I'm living, if God has a problem with me going out drinking with these guys; if He has a problem with me not going to church or praying, then He can come and get me. But I don't think He cares. I don't think He minds." God did care, clearly, and actually God did come and get me through a good friend. He called me back into relationship with Him, but speaking very powerfully and very clearly. Through that process I have been transformed in my relationship with Christ, from a place where I didn't want to spend time with God, to this place where it's a pleasure and privilege getting up and praying.

It transformed my relationships with other people too. Friends notice the difference in me when I've been to church; friends know the importance of my faith to me and the way it stabilises me and I suppose are affected through our relationships by my faith. I was transformed in my environment too. I work in a hospital and it's quite a chaotic environment. There's frequently a lot of pressure and emotion with shouting and anger. It's only because of my faith that I'm able to get through that environment with a smile on my face. It's only because of my faith that I can process the things that I see every day and the tragedies that sometimes doctors are witness to. My faith is a rock, it's Jesus that I turn to when I'm struggling, when I'm emotional, or when I've had an awful day. It's the Holy Spirit that empowers me to keep going.

Emily: What is your understanding of the difference between religion and relationship?

Freddie: It's all caught up in the gospel that Jesus preached. When Jesus started His public ministry, the religious order of the day, and popular understanding, was led by the Pharisees. They taught that the kingdom of God would come into being when the Jewish people, the Jewish nation, could obey the law of God as written in the first five books of the Old Testament. They taught that the Jews needed to obey more; they needed better action and they were obsessed with deriving more intricate rules and regulations to help them stay well away from ever transgressing against the law that was found in those five books. But when Jesus came to earth, the good news He told the Jewish people is that the kingdom of God has already arrived. It's not about their obedience; it's not about their actions that are going to bring the kingdom of God into being. It's about their attitude. It's about having an attitude of repentance towards God, knowing that we've failed and we're going to need His forgiveness in order to take that next step and keep going.