Ben Jack on the need for acceptance

Ben Jack

I've never really won anything significant. In all the areas of my life where winning was an option, I can't think of a single time when I came home with the prize. Maybe that's why I have spent a ridiculous amount of thought time working on the acceptance speech for my Grammy award (hey, its worth being prepared!). Deep down maybe I have some unresolved acceptance and affirmation issues, or maybe I just want something for the mantle piece (yes I have already picked out the spot).

We all want to be good at something don't we? Good at our jobs, good at our hobbies, good at friendships, good at school, good at golf (the holy grail as far as I'm concerned). Whatever it is in our life that we are active in, it seems we are being rated (often by ourselves) as to how well we do things. If we don't do them to the required standard there is an entire industry devoted to helping us do them better! From self-help books to reality TV shows, there's always someone to help with our lust for 'greatness'. Are you struggling with the kids? Get 'Supernanny' in to help and you'll be parents of the year in no time! (I personally object to the title 'Supernanny' as she appears to have no discernable powers. She can't even fly).

This time of year is known as awards season in the entertainment industry. The film, television and music worlds host a series of international awards shows to highlight the best of the best from within their industry. I wonder what it must feel like to receive these honors from your professional peers? To be accepted via a little statue into the cream of the crop of your industry? Because that's what it is all about isn't it, recognition and acceptance? One of the most famous (and ridiculed) Oscar speeches was actress Sally Fields 1985 effort. On winning her second academy award she took the opportunity to confess:

"I haven't had an orthodox career, and I've wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn't feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!"

We all feel that need for acceptance, and who on earth doesn't want to be liked? If not by the majority at least by somebody! The problem is that we often seek acceptance from those who are just as in need of acceptance as we are, and sometimes at the expense of who we really are. There is of course someone who accepts us as we are, in all our failings and weaknesses.

I wonder what God's awards ceremony would be like? Perhaps there would be awards for the most righteous, the kindest, the most loving and the most authentic person of the year. What would you have to do to secure a nomination? Live the life of a saint presumably. The amazing thing is, God has already held his awards ceremony. There was only one prize, and here is the surprise of the evening. WE ALL WON!

Jesus was our prize, and through him we are forever accepted by the love of God. It doesn't matter how good we are at sport, or acting, or parenting, or friendships or golf (fortunately) or anything for that matter. God accepts us if we accept the prize he has given us - Jesus. A prize ironically enough we didn't get for being 'good'.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't try to be good at other things! Far from it, we should give our all in life to whatever takes our passion (and some things that don't!). In fact wherever we do something in the name of God we should do it with absolute excellence. If you have designs of being in a Christian band for example, get practicing! As Christians we should use the talents he has given us to the max, for his glory. Most importantly, we should give our all to living to God's standard for our lives. If I won a Grammy, I know full well that I would want to make the next record even better, to live up to the title and attention I would get from that award. If I accept the prize of Jesus, how much more so should I live a life that attempts to reflect the significance he brings to my life!

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be liked, or accepted, by your friends, family, peers and colleagues. In fact it is perfectly normal! However, if it becomes the focus of your life you will chase your tail in circles never fully entering into the reality that you have already been accepted by the one who matters most. You have been accepted by the one who has already given you the only prize that will resonate for eternity.

Perhaps on accepting that prize Sally Field's might have appropriately said:

"I can't deny the fact that you love me, right now, you love me!"