Baz Gascoyne dispels the lie

Crying, for men, has always been looked upon as a soft option. Rather than just letting the tears flow, biting your bottom lip and making sure you do not embarrass yourself by doing the 'woman thing' is always a priority.

Interestingly, still today many people think that a man crying is a sign of weakness and should not happen in public.

From an early age most boys are told to stop crying by their parents, family or teachers and act grown up. So from being young crying has been frowned upon: it's not what real boys and men do.

Crying has had so much bad press lately that I want to encourage you to consider why crying is a man thing and a healthy thing for all of us.

Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear fame wrote a couple of articles in the past slating men for crying. He said:

"Men are very confused at the moment"

He went on to say "it is simply not normal for a man to cry." He and others are not happy that men are seen to be crying in public. Whether it is David Beckham crying as he drops off his son, Brooklyn, for his first day at school, other sporting celebrities blubbering away after winning a sporting event or film stars at an awards ceremony. Clarkson was adamant that the ridiculous behaviour must stop.

"It is simply not normal for a man to cry." Jeremy Clarkson

Why is it that men are embarrassed about other men or more importantly themselves crying? The main reason, I suggest, is that we do not want to be seen to be weak. Well here's something to consider:

"Crying is not a sign of weakness but of strength. When a man cries he is being strong not weak as he is allowing the real self to come out from behind the mask. The man he was made to be."

Clarkson goes on to say "even happiness is not an excuse for crying. The only time a man can cry in public is with laughter." We will see later how circumstances appear to have changed this opinion.

My Life

My first vivid memory of crying uncontrollably was when I was 10, after a fight at junior school. I was stood crying in front of a teacher being told to stop crying now. The harder I tried to stop the more I cried and the more the teacher kept raising his voice saying "stop crying." I would if I could, I thought, but I have been hurt physically as well as my pride. That was the beginning of making sure I was never to be seen crying in public no matter what happened.

At the age of 15 my life was to change forever but not the way I anticipated. I was given the opportunity to have a two-week football trial with a professional club. A dream come true for any young lad. Things were going really well until the third day; the first team players and myself were lying on the playing field recovering from doing some sprinting when it happened. The player coach came up to me and grabbed my bollocks. He did not say anything and neither did the players who saw this. I was totally confused and angry so I just told him to F*** off and at the end of the training session just got changed without getting a shower and never went back, pretending to my friends that I failed the trial.