Sarah J reflects on what makes people beautiful

Sarah J

There's a saying that tells me that 'beauty is in the eyes of the beholder' but I'm wondering whether it's more important that you see and believe in your own beauty rather than what others think.

I see lots of teenagers obsess about how they look and build their lives around creating the right image. Hours are spent in front of the mirror and shopping to get the 'now' look. Magazines are searched for inspiration and celebrities adored for their appearance.

Sociologists tell us that we interact with people based on what vibes people give off and some of those vibes are based on how the person dresses. I know I've been guilty of avoiding people based on their appearance when I've perceived them as scary or threatening just by their outfit. So I know that what others think about me does have impact on who might talk with me and how they might talk to me. However, I also believe that what you yourself think about yourself impacts upon the way you carry yourself - it impacts upon the vibe you give off.

Do you walk with the confidence of knowing for yourself that you are unique and awesomely made? Do you know that you are beautiful? Do you know that you are designer quality that God made with excitement about your future? He looks at you and thinks what He made looks good! Have you settled in your heart and your mind that you are beautiful?

When I was in my late teens a boyfriend regularly told me that I was beautiful - this built my self esteem. It mattered to me what this person thought of me. But when these compliments stopped and instead I got complaints that I was putting on weight and didn't look so great anymore, I questioned myself and started seeing myself as fat just because of what someone else was saying to me. Looking back this was nuts because I was a size 10 and my body shape was changing because I was growing up! I hadn't got my own perspective on myself and I certainly hadn't got God's perspective of me! I didn't see myself as beautiful, so I was relying on what others' told me and on this occasion I believed lies. Have you bought into a lie about yourself?

I know that there are people hurting because they think that they are fat or not beautiful and some of these people take extreme measures to try to deal with their internal pain. Some decide to have surgery to make them more beautiful. Some starve themselves to lose weight and some people even decide to kill themselves because they see life as too ugly to keep on going. I've had friends that have had eating disorders and my heart has wrenched as I've seen what they've put themselves through in order to obtain a distorted view of beauty. The voices they have listened to have lied to them about what beauty is and that they don't match up.

Well there is someone who tells you that you do match up, that you are worth it and that you are beautiful - His name is Jesus. I'd encourage anyone struggling with their image to take their eyes off themselves and the things that discourage them and to fix their attention onto Jesus - to look at His face, His character, His extravagant love. As you gaze on His beauty the rest of the world and yourself will start to look different.

When I became a Christian my perspective on beauty changed quite a bit - I was less concerned with designer clothes and having a new outfit to wear clubbing each week. As I spent time on mission trips in deprived areas my heart started to get impacted with the importance of clothing the poor and buying a little less for myself. I focused on cultivating 'inner beauty' by letting God's love fill my insides and shape me into a kinder and more caring person (and I continue to do that because I am a work in progress!). I wanted to be loved for me and not what I looked like and I got a bit out of balance on this - not quite dressing in sackcloth but you get the picture! I had gone from one extreme to another. However, the important lesson I learnt from this time was that it's our internal world that makes us beautiful. I'd see beauty in the shine of someone's eyes rather than what they wore and how they did their hair and make-up. I would see beauty in another's kindness, gentleness and compassion. The great thing is that to cultivate inner beauty it doesn't have to cost you anything financially, it simply costs you your time. If you invite Jesus into your life and spend time with Him you'll become more like Him - kind, joyful, gentle and compassionate etc.

The balance of beauty is that we can do both. We can appreciate people's inner beauty and we can enjoy the beauty of creativity in enjoying clothes that people have designed and made. There was a chick in the Bible called Esther that got pampered on the 'outside'. She had lots of beauty treatments, she ate healthily and she got to dress up in stunning outfits. I've been learning the balance of cultivating my inner beauty and enjoying eating healthily, beauty treatments and shopping! Appreciating people's outer beauty - their flare for creative expression through what they wear and the way that they healthily look after themselves is part of celebrating life.

I want to live life in all its fullness and part of this is living as long as possible so that I can enjoy everything God has for me. This means I need to value the body God has given me and to look after it. To feed on healthy food to give energy to do life well and to exercise so that I'm in shape and can take up adventure opportunities that come my way. Living life in fullness means having the fullness of God on the inside of me - it means to be beautiful on the inside and let it shine on the outside. To embrace that I am a designer made product, beautifully and wonderfully made and that you are too. So I am encouraged and challenged to live a life more body beautiful!