Sarah J spoke with Sasha D. Taylor

Sasha: I would like to say it was a hundred percent easy but it wasn't. The Holy Spirit would keep saying don't do this, do that, to me; for example I was saying, Lord shall I just start another relationship because maybe that would help? The Holy Spirit would say no. Then you'd have all your friends and your family saying to you, why don't you start another relationship? You've been with him from early on; you just need to be with somebody else now. So you've got the battle and you're reading your Bible and you're thinking - O Lord - you want to cling to somebody else but God wants you to cling to him. So I think that was kind of hard. I'm not going to say it was easy. But it was worth it.

Sarah: That sounds like quite a lesson really that you can choose to look to other people constantly to meet the needs, but really what God was trying to communicate to you was he wanted to be your all in all.

Sasha: Yeah. I believe that God did it on purpose for me to cling to him. I usually say - because I was really heartbroken - if you put your hand in the fire you'll feel the burn and you're not going to do it again. Every time I thought about it, I thought about that side. Even though God's way seemed harder, I thought, I'm just going to have to do it God's way because I really did not want to get burned like that again. It was just not something I would like to go through again. Now looking back I'm so blessed and glad that I followed the Lord. I'm stronger and I can help other people. I usually counsel friends and stuff. I offer really good advice to them and they're saying, how does she know - because I've been through every emotion that you can think of, every situation. The games, you play the games; I'm going to be with somebody else; I'm going to make him jealous. I've played all those games and it's just not worth it, because I always ended up right back at the beginning again.

Sarah: So what you're saying is that the games that people play with one another emotionally and psychologically in trying to get them back, it doesn't really pay off because really deep down it just ends up hurting the individual that's doing it.

Sasha: Yes. It just ends up hurting you. You end up hurt and you end up crying. The other person half the time doesn't even realise it. Doesn't even care. They're busy doing what they want to do; so you're going through all this pain and hurt for nothing.

Sarah: I know that one of the things in the end of the book, that you describe as a result of walking through that pain journey and seeing levels of victory as you decided that you would try and do things God's way rather than doing things the way that you wanted to do them; you described that you realised that part of the plan of all of that was so that you could give back to others and you just mentioned that you're involved in supporting other people at times through their situations.

Sasha: Yeah. One night the Holy Spirit said to me, the reason why, is because when you really go through something, you're able to then give back to somebody else as help; you can feel what somebody else is going through because you've experienced it. At the time I was like, I don't really care what somebody else is going through just heal me; but now I can really appreciate it.

Sarah: It happened quite crazily didn't it? I was reading in the book that you ended up in a church meeting and the very girl that was with your ex boyfriend, that had contributed to you feeling hurt - she had ended up being dumped and splitting up with him and you ended up having to encourage her.

Sasha: Yeah. That was the first person the Holy Spirit used me to pray for in that kind of way. I just thought wow God, you know. At the time I was like, God I'm not doing this and the speaker who was speaking, she looked at me and she said can I come and help her pray for his ex girlfriend. I was like - God you've got to be joking. At the time I'm thinking that, but there's part of me thinking - she's feeling exactly what I'm feeling and the Holy Spirit even allowed me to feel the pain that she was going through, which I could identify with, because it was the pain I'd experienced and was still experiencing. So yeah God is good.

Sarah: I just think that's amazing that the person that you would have experienced jealousy and hatred towards and anger towards, you're then in a situation that you're heart's flooded with compassion for her and your whole attitude towards her changes literally in a moment.

Sasha: Yeah. But I went through life and quite a few years of just feeling complete anger and hatred towards this person. Then in a split second the Holy Spirit just wiped it away and I'm praying for this person. So yeah, God is definitely good.

Sarah: If there's anyone reading this right now and they're in the situation that they've split up with somebody and it's raw; it's hurting for them and they're finding it really difficult to get through that, what would be some of the things that you would share in terms of some pearls of wisdom for them?

Sasha: The first thing I would share is, tell the Holy Spirit everything. Share every emotion. I told the Holy Spirit how I was feeling for the other people involved. Be real you know; don't play games because it only hurts you. Another one would be, if you're still having sex or a sexual relationship with the person, you have to ask God to help you to break it. The problem was I was trying to do it myself at first. It was only when I said God I surrender - I can't do it even though I want to do it; I'm sleeping with this person; I hate him; and I just realised I couldn't do it; then God just steps in and he will help you. Read your Bible. Look for books - you can read books to help you. There are loads and loads of books and tapes and messages; you know Christian messages and books out there that will help you with situations that you're going through. For example, I think my biggest battle was my mind; it was just all over the place. If you just ask the Holy Spirit he will lead you to something to help you. I don't know how I got this book but I read Joyce Meyer's Battlefield of the Mind and it kind of put everything into perspective. I thought, my goodness, I didn't know that you don't entertain everything that comes into your mind. Some things you say no, I don't really want to hear that now. You fill it with the word. I didn't know things like that. Definitely listening to messages and books and stuff. But I would say just develop your own relationship; and a friend that you can trust and usually somebody who's more mature, probably in the faith, than you, so they could pray with you and give you wisdom; give you words in the Bible that you could go to. Things like that. I had one friend like that who I could just trust and just tell her everything that I felt. Because obviously if I kept it all in I probably would have exploded and wouldn't know where to go. Because I was such a young Christian, I didn't really know about all this help and all these books and Christian book shops; because at the time I didn't know. Another one is definitely music. If you're somebody who likes music, definitely music; gospel music, whatever style you like. Music helps me a lot, because sometimes when I couldn't do anything; I couldn't read my Bible; all I could do was cry; then I'd put on a few gospel CDs and I'd just sing to the words. I didn't even know at the time that a lot of the words and gospel songs are from the Bible. I didn't realise that. So as I'm singing I was confessing the word to myself.

Sarah: One of the books that people can get a copy of is your book; it's called Broken, But I'm Healed. If somebody's reading this Sasha and they don't actually know Jesus and they're in that situation; they've just heard your story and they thought that that sounds great; you're talking about praying, you're talking about reading the Bible; but I don't even know God or anything like that. What would you say to them?

Sasha: Psalm 34 is really lovely; it's one of my favourites. It just says, if you call upon the name of Jesus he will answer you. I would say just call upon his name. Just speak to him as if you were speaking to a friend that you know. He will meet you at your need. If you call upon the name of Jesus he will answer you wherever you are, at the point where you're at; I guarantee you will have an experience with Jesus, and it will just grow from there.

Sarah: Awesome stuff. Thank you Sasha for sharing about your book.

Sasha: Thank you.