Mal Fletcher comments on Sir Paul Coleridge standing down as a High Court Judge after being reprimanded for his comments in support of marriage



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Sir Paul has declared that people who want stability for their children should place a high value on marriage. He recently declared that if people want to have children they should consider getting married, as a way of guaranteeing stability and security.

Yet he argued this not as a moral tenet but as a pragmatic one - given that marriage, if pursued with sufficient commitment and patience, provides the most stable environment for raising children.

Such a contention is borne out by studies that suggest children who are raised by their biological parents, in an harmonious, long-term relationship, are less likely to suffer developmental problems in later life.

Of course, blended families also raise wonderful children - as do single parents, often against tremendous odds. All long-term, stable relationships require both parties to work hard.

Few successful marriages are merely the stuff of fairly-tale 'happy-ever-after' romance. They require constant tender loving care and attention - with a good dose of romance thrown in, of course.

Building a lasting marriage involves a significant investment of time, tolerance and love.

Sadly, not everyone gets to enjoy that type of relationship - sometimes, through no great fault of their own. Divorce, while possibly never an inevitability, is an important option for some people, particularly those who find themselves trapped in physically or emotionally abusive relationships.

Yet abandoning relationships has become too easy an option in society, to the point where marriage vows, once seen as something made for life, are now often treated as having been temporary commitments.

No one in their right mind would argue for a return to a time when divorce involved underhanded and grubby tactics to prove fault. Or a time when divorce was so costly that only the wealthy could take advantage of it.

Or a time when divorce was all but impossible for women, who also bore the brunt of its consequences within the family and in the wider society.

Arguably, the pendulum has now swung too far in the opposite direction. We seem to be headed to place where, at least informally, marriage is becoming a temporary bargain.

If we stay on this line, we may eventually arrive at a new form of pre-nuptial agreement; one in which couples agree not only the division of assets post-divorce, but the length of time they will be held to their vows.

Not many people will go into marriage thinking their union will eventually fail. Few will have children wanting anything but the very best for them.

Yet if a recent survey is to be believed, divorce is often seen as being in the best interests of the child.