Joy Attmore reflects on how to find real joy this Christmas.

When I was a pre-teen/turning a teen, myself and a few of my friends created Happy Books. They were the invention of one of our cool older sisters, Ruhamah, and were designed to store all of our happy thoughts and memories. I took hold of this idea with gusto and soon had volumes of fat notebooks and scrapbooks that I would literally paste and write everything into. The happy project quickly became an artistic outlet as I tried to find new and creative ways to fill each page. The idea behind the journals was to focus on what made each of us happy, to store up the good things so we weren't giving so much attention to the negative.

There is something good and powerful about claiming the positive and 'thinking of your happy place', but if all we do is chase happy thoughts, we'll spend eternity filling books with memories and not remembering to truly live.

Joy is a gift that God has given each of us and invites us to abide in every day. It doesn't have an expiry date and nor does it fade away when an experience ends or a moment changes. Joy is a state that we get to choose to live in. It is something that is activated in our spirit and goes on to affect the rest of our being.

Christmas-time is one of my favourite seasons in the year. December is a month full of happy memories, celebrations, magical moments and laughter galore. I don't have to conjure up reasons to smile or be thankful, because the season in itself reminds me of how beautiful living really is. It is the season the Happy Book was made for! That being said, the gift giving and family gathering, the pretty lights and caroling choirs can also be reminders of who is no longer there, conflicts we aren't ready to resolve or painful memories that we try to avoid. Christmas can be a complicated time!

I was pondering these things this week as Christmas day approaches on Sunday and I have had to fight off my own clouds of sadness in order to choose joy. I miss my family dearly at this time of year and have also been aware of several losses that have taken place in my friend's lives over the past few months. In the last week I have also been struggling with my own health, which has meant a lot more bed rest for me, and having to say no to fun Christmas celebrations which is not my normal. With each situation that comes to mind, I have a choice as to whether to wallow in the pain or disappointment and play the 'what if' game with myself, or to choose joy and remember the promises which are still very alive and well.

When circumstances haven't changed and the evidence before you is not what you were believing for, your natural response is probably not to feel happy, but you can still have joy.

'Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.' Henri J.M. Nouwen

I recently watched a video and was moved by how children had so profoundly captured the power of joy in the midst of very difficult circumstances. Maybe we should all create our own Joy Jars and move from chasing fleeting feelings of happiness into abiding in faith-filled joy.

If this time of year has been triggering some painful memories and emotions for you, I encourage you not to forget them, but to choose another perspective and foundation to view them from. Choose joy. And if you need any further encouragement or persuasion on just how effective this gift from God can be, here's another little video for you.

May you have a JOYfilled Christmas!!