Emily Parker spoke with Tricia Seaman about her book 'God Gave Me You', the extraordinary story of how she met and befriended a young single mother with terminal cancer, and the remarkable journey God took them on making two families one.

When she passed on, I believe that it was for Wesley the best possible transition that there could be. There's no easy way to lose a parent certainly, but the separation was very, very slow. It was like God enabled me and Dan to take in and slowly takeover as his parents, doing all the day to day things that his mom once had done. He still was able to go visit her several times a week, but he was understanding and slowly separating. I can recall a time a few days before she died, the last time I took him down to visit her, he would not sit next to her anymore. He had stayed right on my lap the whole evening that we were visiting and she wasn't very coherent. She was very tired, mostly sleeping. When we got into the car he said, "Tricia, I really don't want to come back here anymore." I said, "Why not?" He said, "Because I don't like to remember my mom this way. I want to remember her like she was." I said, "That's ok." In the next breath he said, "Would you take me to the circus sometime and let me ride an elephant?" That's just the way his eight year old mind worked. One minute we were talking very serious and the next minute we were talking about the circus.

She and I had talked through all of these things, so I knew what her wishes were and she clearly said that when he says he doesn't want to come back anymore please don't bring him, because he will want to remember me as I was and I don't want him to be afraid. So I knew that that was his signal, that he wanted to bring some closure.

The day that she passed Robin was with her. I had been with her the night before; I had stayed down and held her hand through the night. That morning Robin came and took over and I came home to Wesley and the other kids and to Dan, and I told Wesley that it was getting very close, that mommy was going to go to heaven. He cried quite a bit, he really did, but he also was very well prepared, that that was what was going to happen.

He had the opportunity to say goodbye; she had called his name several times and Robin had called and said could we put him on the phone just so she can hear his voice. So we talked to him and called back and we told him that mommy just really needed to hear his voice before she went to heaven. He said, "What should I say?" And I said, "Say whatever is on your heart." He said, "I just want to tell her that I love her and thank you for being my mom." So that's exactly what he did and we all got a chance to say goodbye and within ten minutes after we spoke, she had passed away. It was a day I'll never forget.

As far as my own grief, I think we all handled it in different ways. Wesley did well. He had some moments that were very difficult, but it was interesting because he just kind of accepted that this was a new chapter in his life and although he missed her greatly, he just had this peace and acceptance that this was what was going to be.

We try very hard to always incorporate her memory into everything we do, any special family moments. We have ornaments on the tree for her and we have always put balloons up for her birthday.

Emily: That's lovely!

Tricia: I want her memory to always be special, always honoured by him, and our family. She's always a part, even though she's not here. Just last week we had an open house at Wesley's school and I had taken him and on the way out to the car I said to him, "I'm so proud of you; I'm so proud of all that you have accomplished." He's a brilliant student. I said, "I just wish that your mom could be here to see this. It's times like this that I miss her the most." And he said, "We're missing her not being here, but she's not missing any of it. She's watching." He's so wise for his years.

I think even now I'm still processing. Life has moved on and things have changed, of course, but I'll never be the same after this event in our life. It changed me forever, and changed our family forever. I don't think I will take things for granted quite so quickly as maybe I did before. I think it causes me to do my job in a different way, to parent a different way and just to be me as a person.

Emily: You guys have done incredibly to live day by day and keep on following God in that. I think that was one of the things that I found really inspiring when I read 'God Gave Me You'. Why was it that you decided to write the book with Diane and share your story?

Tricia: The opportunity came to us. It's nothing that we ever sought to do. Diane had reached out to me. She works for a Christian women's magazine here in the United States that wanted to do an article on our story. After the article Diane and I stayed in touch and continue to till this day. She had an opportunity to present the story and asked if I was ok with her doing that, never thinking that it would go anywhere. The publisher then contacted and was very serious about wanting to have us create a book together, so we did. It was a remarkable experience. I think for me it was very healing because I got to relive each moment all over again and really sort out some feelings that I had. I did some crying and some things that I hadn't been able to do up to that point. It was a very wonderful journey. I think writing down your thoughts and feelings is always a good way to sort them out.

Emily: Definitely. As I said, 'enjoyed' is a funny word, not necessarily the right word, but it's inspiring hearing about the strength of you as a family and that you, Tricia, have shown through all of this. I could ask you so many more questions, but the book is there to be read and shared knowing that Christmas and all those special family events are coming up. If anybody wants to get hold of a copy of your book, how can we do so?

Tricia: You can look it up on the web. Amazon has it, many Christian retailers have it. Even in your country, the international rights were sold so it is being distributed throughout Europe. So I would say you can definitely look it up on the web. I have a Facebook page with some links on it; it's Tricia Seaman Author. I also have a website www.triciaseaman.com. There's a variety of ways so you'll be able to get a copy for sure.