Tony Loeffler shares some personal thoughts

Tony Loeffler

In "Shooting Stars" part 1, we ended up with me coming to the reality that my poor relationship with my father had a lot to do with my inability of receiving love from my heavenly Father. I never knew the two were so deeply connected. Now, lets move on with this remarkable "Shooting Stars" move of God that took place on an island in the Caribbean.

I was trying hard to keep my thoughts busy so that I didn't have to think about the experience in Cuba that devastated me, or my past experiences as a young person. I felt as though I didn't even know who I was anymore. I didn't know if I had any value or worth. So much was attached to what I did in life. Even my relationship to God was caught in that trap. And, even though God had given me two shooting stars, it didn't seem enough. Doubt still plagued my soul.

As I continued to write the article about Teshon Village where I grew up, I began to see more and more how my relationship with my father had a lot to do with all these feelings I was experiencing. The huge dichotomy and reality between my brokenness and the Lord of the universe loving and speaking to me just continued to put me into an incredible attitude of worship.

And so, I began speaking to the Lord and asked a question, "Lord, what do you want me to do?" I don't have a "do" anymore. Then I heard the Lord speaking to my heart saying, "Tony, play your music." I said in total amazement, "Lord, play my music. I gave that up six years ago. You should have told me to play my music twenty years ago when I was much younger. Now my back hurts, I can't carry the equipment anymore. Play my music Lord?" And He said again, "Just play your music." I couldn't believe or receive what I was hearing from the Lord.

So I said, "OK, Lord" but if this is you really speaking to me about this, can you give me another shooting star tonight Lord. Fifteen minutes or so goes by and there to my amazement goes the third shooting star. And almost in shock I thought to myself, "Wow, there goes another shooting star."

I woke up the next morning and had breakfast with a friend of mine who invited me to this island to write and relax. I said, "Carl, this is what happened to me the last three nights. I have asked the Lord for a shooting star each night and I believe the Lord gave me each one. Are shooting stars a common thing out here in the Caribbean?" And he said, "No Tony, that's not common. This must be something that the Lord is doing for you."

Then he gave me a teaching he did in Singapore which was about how God called Moses to be a deliverer. The emphasis being on the fact that when God called Moses, He knew what he had and didn't have. He had a stick and a speech impediment but the Lord called him and wanted to use him. I had nothing! Even my vision and work in Cuba has come to an end. "I am a failure" was all I could think. "I must have missed God along the way" is what I said to myself. I was indeed troubled and confused in my spirit.

During these three days as I was worshiping and fellowshipping with God, all I was able to say after the third day was, "Lord, I just can't do this. I haven't written songs in years and I don't even have the desire to write anymore. I'm sorry Lord, but I just don't have it any longer. There is no desire for anything anymore Lord. Let alone write songs and play music. I don't think I can even tell someone how to cross the street and these feelings are very real. How can I possibly tell people how to get to Heaven's gates?"

"Lord, I thought I knew how to get to Heaven's gates and have been telling people about it for years. I have been working in Cuba for years, telling people about you, feeling your power and presence and now it is gone. I might have missed you Lord and maybe everything I've done all my life hasn't made any sense."

These were real thoughts that I struggled with on the island. When I say that I didn't think I had the right to tell someone how to cross the street, let alone tell them how to get to Heaven, I meant it. I just couldn't make a decision now, not at all. But, I had three shooting stars. I had God ministering to me, speaking to me. He still loved me in spite of my doubt.

The next morning I woke up and got an e-mail from a person who does not normally send me e-mails. I had met this person only twice and we hardly ever communicate. This person knew nothing about where I was, what happened in Cuba, what the musical status of my life was or anything else. In his e-mail was a midi file. A midi file is a file that plays music. As I clicked it on, it began to play the melody of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star". At that moment, all I could do was shake my head and weep. Not only was the Lord throwing stars across the Heavens, now He was sending me personal e-mails. I sat there and wept.

I then read the content of the e-mail message and there was a story of a husband and wife who took their young child to see this grand concert pianist perform. Just as the house lights dimmed and the concert was about to begin, the mother returned to her seat and discovered that the child was missing. Suddenly, the curtain parted and the spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway on stage.

In horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the keyboard, innocently picking out "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit." "Keep playing."

Then, leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child, and he added a running obbligato.

Together, the old master and the young novice transformed what could have been a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience. The audience was so mesmerized that they couldn't recall what else the great master played. Only the classic, "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."

(Conclusion) To be continued, Part 3