Ian Pilkington comments

Ian Pilkington

"Major depression is the No.1 psychological disorder in the western world. It is growing in all age groups, in virtually every community, and the growth is seen most in the young, especially teens. At the rate of increase, it will be the 2nd most disabling condition in the world by 2020, behind heart disease". (source: Depression Learning Path)

Faced with comments like that, it is obvious that this topic is a hot one. The plethora of self help books, programmes, websites and counselling theories that are available, back that up. Depression is big business.

Let me try to describe it for you, if you are one of those people who are fortunate never to have experienced it: you wake (too early) with a stomach twisting sense of foreboding, and quickly your mind attaches all sorts of negative 'reasons' to that sense. There can follow an hour or so where these feelings intensify to the point of almost totally overwhelming you with worthlessness, hopelessness and often anxiety. Then comes the point where you simply must get up (responsibilities that get you going are actually a good thing, but they feel like a crippling weight at the time). Deciding on whether you have a shower or not, what to wear, how to dress the kids, what to prepare for breakfast, can all seem like major decisions that increase your levels of anxiety.

Then, if you are lucky enough to have work responsibilities or children to care for, the feelings can subside as the day goes on. Some folks without a supportive environment, or a belief system that can make sense of suffering, simply fold under the pressure..

Then you finish your day, face a few more challenges at home, go to bed. And a few hours later, if you are able to sleep at all, it starts all over again.

There, I hope that has not depressed you too much! I want to write now for those who are presently struggling, and trust that those who are healthy and blessed with well being will gain an insight and compassion.

Firstly, please get over any sense of shame for taking anti-depressants. If you need them for a season, however long, that's fine. They're probably not the answer, but they can help.

The good news is that there is a way through. Mostly, we need to have belief and purpose beyond our own lives, a sense of being part of something much bigger than satisfying our own needs. Depression will suck you into yourself, and getting your eyes shifted to something outside yourself is hugely beneficial.

I found a bible verse that says basically that "the God of all comfort will comfort you, so that you can comfort others with the same comfort you have received yourself". There needs to be an inner healing, and an outward working. Healing and maturity together walk the path of depression with you and hold your hands to guide you to wholeness if you will let them.

There is a value to your life and to all its struggles - you need to know that, it gives purpose to your present condition. Those who go through mental health problems can become the most courageous, loving people on the face of the Earth, with a deep appreciation of the root causes of other people's problems that can unlock pathways of escape from the labyrinths of depression. There is no better guide out of a maze than someone who has found the way themselves.

Find people who are prepared to be real with you. You need more than to be told to 'count your blessings', 'there's always someone worse off ' (that one can really kill you) and to 'pull yourself together'.

Give yourself a break. For me, one episode of depression was like being at the bottom of a 15 foot muddy pit with slimy sides - the more I tried to get out on my own, the more I failed and the more hopeless I became. Just sit for a while, and give your mind a rest. Listen to classical music, go for walk in the country if you can, but do something other than lie in the pit of despair, or worry at the knots in your mind.

Sometimes you need to be healed with gentleness and compassion, sometimes you need to face the challenges head on and find your healing in doing that, while at the same time being real with your emotions - guys, be prepared to cry even in the midst of your victories over depression; girls, be prepared to let them.

You have to deal with the root or the shoots can grow again. If your Dad left when you were three, and Mum was not available emotionally, and you and your step-Dad were constantly in a rejection relationship which ended up with him drowning his own desperate problems with alcohol, you're going to have some rejection issues that make you inclined to feel that you are to blame for other people's problems, and that you are basically unlovable. (You guessed, that's part of my own journey).

You have to learn how to think 'half full not half empty' especially about yourself, and find comfort and healing for the causes of depression.

Personally, I have experienced a loving Father God who has been the ultimate source of any healing I have received. He has been with me all my life, he knows the truth of every situation, he knows when I need to get real with myself and press into life against my emotional brokenness, and he knows when to comfort and bring healing that I just cannot find on my own. He speaks the truth to me in absolute love, causes tears to flow that water the emotional deserts, and ultimately, it is unconditional, accepting love that will bring you to peace. I have only found one place where that can be trusted 100 percent.