Cherry Farrington reflects on the importance of being the real you.

Photo: FreeImages.com/GokhanOkur

"Let's just take a minute to go around the circle and introduce ourselves. Maybe start by telling us your name, how old you are and something interesting about yourself."

Everything inside me suddenly curls up and I wish the ground could swallow me whole. I sit silently as one-by-one each person introduces themselves; the whole time racking my brain for something interesting to say about myself and feeling the pressure to say something that will make people like me. Before I know it, all eyes are on me and the room is quiet.

"Hi, my name's Cherry. I'm 16 and...[cue mind blank]..."

We've all had to deal with situations where we are somewhere new, trying to make a good first impression and figure out who we are and where we are going to belong.

After moving several times with family whilst growing up, by my teenage years I was accustomed to the process of change that came with settling into a new area, school, church, youth group and friends. However, being accustomed to it, didn't mean that I wasn't fazed by it. I still hadn't learnt to tackle it in a cool, collected manner. In fact, most of the time, it was quite the opposite.

I would always start off well. I would be excited by the idea of an opportunity to be a 'new me' and leave behind things that I didn't like about myself. I would walk in confident, with my head high. "This school year is going to be different. I am going to be different," I would tell myself. But then my head would turn left and right and as I was faced with the reality of my 'fresh start', old insecurities would distract me and flickers of doubt questioned everything.

"This uniform looks ugly on me."
"I should've worn my hair differently."
"My accent sounds silly."
"I have nothing interesting to say."
"I'm not cool enough."
"They're not going to like me."
"I don't belong here."

Photo: FreeImages.com/HolgerDieterich

Suddenly, I would be thrown off my game. The ease and confidence I had walked in with, quickly faded and I felt awkward and uncomfortable.

Often when we walk into new situations we have an idea of who we do and don't want to be, as well as the parts of our past that we want to leave behind. We tell ourselves that everything will be different, "This year I will be more confident. I will work harder. I will wear the 'right' clothes. My crush will finally notice me." The list goes on.

But then as you look around at others, comparison and doubts creep in, or pressures pile up and it is not easy to be the person you envisioned yourself as. As much as we want to leave old versions of ourselves behind, they quickly find their way back. The way we pictured ourselves ends up very different from reality.

How did you want this year to start? Who did you want to be?

It doesn't matter how many times we find ourselves in a moment of change and try to wish away the things that we don't like about ourselves, we are still who we are. It's a lie that we can't belong where we are, just as we are. The truth is that you were created to be here. You belong in this moment and you don't have to be anything other than you.

When insecurities rise and you are tempted to hide yourself away, or to put on a mask to be someone you're not, know that who you are is enough. You were wonderfully designed and created with a unique role to play in your class, in your family, in your friendship group and the world around you that no-one else but you can play.

So maybe this year, instead of looking around you and trying to be like others to fit in and battling a constant feeling that you don't measure up, try keeping your head straight. Try just being you, with the confidence that who you are is more than good enough.

"You alone created my inner being, God. You knitted me together inside my mother. I will give thanks to you because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made." Psalm 139:13-14a