Emily Parker spoke with Brenda Hale about the day she found out her husband had died in Afghanistan, how she survived the shock and grief, and her life in politics since then.

I didn't want to go into politics. I've always been politically engaged, interested, and looked at world politics as well as UK politics, but when I was first asked by the DUP, they approached me, and asked me to stand in our local area, I went to my church. I went to my minister and my elders for guidance. I didn't tell them what it was, I just said, "There's a life-changing decision here and I don't know if it's from God or not."

I didn't want to go. I am a Moses, you know. Don't put me in the front-line and I'm very happy to help backstage, but not 'front of shop'. It was God pushing me forward. I truly believe that. I feel that now I'm no longer in active politics, but still very active behind the scenes, this is just another path in which God has taken me.

What I have learnt is, that in my life I am not in the driver's seat. I'm a very active and vocal passenger, but I've stopped trying to plan my life. The only thing I plan now are holidays. My life is full of so many twists and turns and God has been so active in it, but that doesn't mean to say I'm happy about it. God sometimes takes me down roads I really don't want to go. If I could be Jonah and hide in the whale, that's my natural inclination, I don't want to do this. I sometimes feel that God lays too much on my shoulders, and then you realise that He's there the whole time and you're not doing it by yourself. So I have an increasing reliance on God. I didn't have when Mark was alive, because I relied more on Mark, and so this is maybe where God has made the potter's wheel and He's shaping me. But change is never easy, and it's never easy whenever you want to be in control yourself.

Emily: For somebody who's maybe walking through the death of a loved one, what advice would you give to them, as to how to go through that grieving process?

Brenda: Everybody's path is different. The way that I coped with it was that this was Mark's time. Mark only ever had until he was 42. Mark only ever had until he stepped foot in Afghanistan and I have to accept that that was part of God's plan. It doesn't make it easier; it doesn't even mean that I agree with it, but it was part of God's plan, and as a Christian I am also part of God's plan. I can't see what His final plans are until the end.

It doesn't stop me loving Mark. It doesn't stop Mark being alive in my head and in my heart. He's still very much part of our family. We talk about Mark every day; we say his name every day; he is still very much part of our lives.

I still continue to walk through the valley of death, but Mark is with me, as well as God. They have only left us for a short while, and yes it hurts, of course it hurts, but I know that I will see Mark again. As Christians we have that hope and it is a certain hope. It's not 'airy fairy'; it's not 'it might happen', it is a certain hope and to have that is a great strength. To hang onto that, hang onto your faith, and it's okay to be sad eight years down the line. I still cry and mourn Mark deeply, not every day now, but he's still very much part of my heart and I miss him very, very much, but sometimes I just have to let go and let God.

Emily: If anyone wants to get hold of a copy of your book and read yours and Mark's story, how can they do so?

Brenda: Can I just say, all the royalties from my share of the book are being donated directly to the Army Benevolent Fund, the soldiers' charity, which is the charity that stepped in and helped me pay school fees for my youngest daughter immediately after Mark was killed. They'll also be helping a military charity. It is available on-line, at Waterstones and on Amazon and Faith Mission bookshops, so it's widely available, especially on-line.