Dennis Peacocke comments

Dennis Peacocke

Recently a friend was sharing with me his concerns about the increasing spread of school-based health clinics in our nation's high schools. As most of us know, the alleged rationale behind these clinics is that kids are going to have sex anyway so why not help them do it more responsibly by dispersing birth control devices and abortion counseling right there on campus. My friend came up with the bright idea of applying the same rationale to teenage drinking and suggested the introduction of school-based pubs. The concept has incredible possibilities! Let's take a look at the secularist's logic and see where it ends up. Hang on, this should be fun!

How About School-Based Pubs...

Obviously kids drink. Alcohol abuse is our nation's biggest drug problem for adults and youth. So why not use the same reasoning as Planned Parenthood does for promoting school-based clinics and bring the old can and bottle openers into a professionally staffed bar right alongside the sex clinic? Let's help our youth pour down those drinks responsibly-and should they overdo it, we'll send them right over from school to the rehab center. Of course, we know the kids will abuse alcohol, so why not pitch right in and give them courses on mixing drinks, alcohol-to-food ratios, alcohol and dating, and perhaps fine wine appreciation (that'll stop them from guzzling Budweiser!)? How helpful. Forget about parents being those who shape their values; they'll only muddle things up anyway. Let's put our sign right next to Planned Parenthood's "Safe Sex Abuse" and call it, "Drinking Advice." Now, with that taken care of, let's move down the hall and see what else the old Alma Mater needs...

How About School-Based Porn Shops...

We all know teens are naturally curious about the opposite sex's anatomy and sexual habits. So, since many boys already read Playboy and Hustler magazines, and rent X-rated videos, let's teach the kids the "responsible" use of porn for erotic entertainment at school, where trained teachers and professionals can clear up the confusion and myths with which children's parents or Christian moralists may have polluted them. Mind you, we wouldn't be saying that porn was "good" or "bad." That would be a religious-type value statement and such moralizing has no legitimate place in a free and open school. All we're saying is that kids do use pornography, so let's at least make available to them a serious display of it together with a counseling service to teach them porn's "legitimate" value. Let's call this clinic "The Responsible Peeping-at-Porn Shop." Doesn't the sign look great next to our other two clinic signs? I must admit our school hallways never looked like this when I went to school. But that was back in the olden days before the experts and Planned Parenthood sages convinced us that raising children and shaping moral values was far, far too serious a job to be left to parents.

Shall we head farther down the hallway now? Without going through all the prudent reasons why we need the following abuse-prevention clinics, let's just gaze at the impressive array of signs all the way down the corridor:

• Pre-Adultery Clinic


• Child Abuse Basics


• Responsible Divorce Counseling


• Handling Incompetent Parents


• Successful Suicide: Getting The Job Done Right

As you can see, the possibilities are nearly endless. Who knows, these clinics may even cut down parental authority and discretion and promote the responsible use of sin.

Is anyone at home out there?

Reprinted by permission. This article is excerpted from Dennis Peacocke's book "The Emperor Has No Clothes" available at www.gostrategic.org