Baz Gascoyne on the lost art of manners.

Baz Gascoyne

I recently decided to pop into a guitar shop; I was early for a meeting so decided to take a look around. I pushed the door but couldn't get in even though the sign said 'Open'. So I knocked on the door and eventually the shop-owner came to let me in. "Are you open?" I asked politely; his reply was rather a curt "yes" followed by "what do you want?" I wanted to say I've come for half a pound of sausages and a dozen eggs, what do you think I've come for? But I didn't and instead asked "is it ok to look around?" He said yes reluctantly and, needless to say, I didn't stay in the shop for long: when I decide to buy a guitar it won't be from there.

What is it with folk and manners? As a young lad I was taught by grandparents & an uncle to try and be polite and thoughtful to folk. Hey I'm not going to say I've always done this; sometimes I can be a grumpy old man, but I try daily to be polite to folk by a smile, saying please and thank you, holding the door open for people and even offering my seat on a bus: generally trying to make people feel appreciated and liked.

Someone once said: "Manners and politeness will never become old-fashioned." Well, sadly, it seems that people of all ages are proving this to not be the case. Anthony Hincks could well be right when he said "Please and thank you.. two polite phrases which are slowly disappearing from our vocabulary."

I have a friend called Steve who constantly says to me and others "Be kind to yourself," meaning look after yourself and stop being too hard on yourself with your judgement and expectations. When I manage to put this into practice this over spills to how I treat others around me. How I treat those I meet daily is affected by how I am feeling inside my own head and heart about myself.

"It is astounding what power being kind, mannered, polite and considerate has in transforming your life." Bryant McGill

I've never met anyone who does not want to be liked and have friends. Sadly the way we go about it at times doesn't help our cause. William Feather said "Politeness is an inexpensive way of making friends."

It can mean being courageous and stepping out of our comfort zones. Evan Esar encourages us to do this when he said "Nobody loses anything by being polite, but there are a lot of people who are afraid to take the risk."

What do you want?