Matthew 5:21-22, James 1:19, Matthew 5:23-26, Galatians 5:22

Matt Summerfield considers the best way to deal with anger

The first step to healing is always to admit it to yourself, to others and to God where you're struggling.

Someone once said "If you don't talk it out with someone, you will take it out on someone".

2. Understand Anger
I can remember a time when I was putting together a climbing frame for the boys when they were much younger. As you'd expect, it did not come easily to me, but after many hours of sweat, blood, tears, forcing joints - it was almost done and I just needed to add the ladder. It was at that point as I looked at the instructions, I suddenly realised that from the start I'd done it completely wrong and would have to dismantle it and start from scratch.

I felt so angry. I'm trying to pull this thing apart to start again and in my rage I ended up throwing a chair half way up the garden. And as I turned round I remember to this day Jo and the boys looking sheepishly out of the dining room window at me - as I'd lost it.

As I calmed down, I started to think to myself - why am I so angry about this? What's going on inside me? Am I angry because I feel inadequate that I can't put up a simple climbing frame? Am I angry because I subconsciously believe that things in life shouldn't be hard? What is going on here?

After we've owned the fact that we're angry - we need to pause to consider why we're angry? That alone can sometimes diffuse things. To pause. To stop and think.

Why am I angry? Sometimes it's for no good reason! And we need to speak to ourselves to chill out. Go take a walk. Cool off.

But other times there might be more going on.

We're angry because we're hurting or a situation has triggered a memory or there's just not much in the emotion tank and so we're short tempered.

Take time to understand why you're angry before you express it.

It's interesting to note, that in the Bible the word angry / anger is used over 400 times. Over 300 of these times it refers to God's anger.

Jesus Himself got angry, which must mean that anger in itself it not necessarily sin - it's what we get angry about - and more importantly, how we express it.

Jesus was only angry about how other people were treated - he never got angry about how he was treated. That's a good test!

3. Respond to Anger