Ephesians 6:1-4

Matt Summerfield considers how we treat our parents and children and the impact it has

Matt Summerfield

There's not such thing as a perfect family. No perfect parents! No perfect children! But the Bible is ram-packed full of wisdom about how we should behave as family members.

In Ephesians 6:1-3 the apostle Paul famously writes these words:

'Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. "Honor your father and mother." This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, "things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth."'

There are two commandments here. One that's related specifically to younger children - and one that's relevant to all of us.

Firstly, 'Children obey your parents'. Why should children obey their parents? Because little children have huge amounts to learn and so their parents will know what will help them and not harm them. Pretty simple and obvious really!

However, when we get older we start to make our own decisions and yet Paul says that whatever age you are you should honour your mum and dad. It's a reminder of the fifth commandment in the ten commandments.

So what does it mean to honour someone? The word for honour means to value. God says that we need to value our parents. We need to appreciate them.

Sometimes it might be hard to do that because our parents aren't perfect and make mistakes. Sometimes they can really hurt us by things they do and say. But we recognise that we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them so we can be thankful that they brought us in to the world.

So, in Ephesians 6:1-3 Paul tells us two things. Firstly, when we're younger we need to obey our parents because they know best. Secondly, as we got older, even though we start to make our own decisions and become more independent - we should always honour and rightly value our parents.

BUT our parents have a job to do too - and it's not to wind us up as children which is what Paul speaks about next in Ephesians 6:4.

'Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.'

Again there's two things that Paul tells us here as parents. One thing we shouldn't do and one thing we should do.

Firstly, we should not upset our children through our bad decisions or behavior.

In the time that this letter was written nearly 2,000 years ago Fathers dominated the family. They were controlling and dictatorial and children were to be seen and not heard. Children weren't really considered to be human beings yet and so their feelings did not need to be considered.